Everyone Shares Jealousy---

How and where should I begin... You always said you wanted someone to treat you like a king and in return you would treat her as a queen, love and cherish her. So how come you cherish and love the women who always leave you wounded and heartbroken. I guess my motivation I give to you, my love for you and my concern and consideration for you means less than I knew. A small part of my heart dies EACH DAY, that I see you. Knowing that we have been friends, shared intimate times, special moments, times when we've cried, times when we've laughed and realizing that you are the ONE that makes me SMILE and you don't feel the same. A PART of me DIES... I have tried to move on, meet new people and want to just get you off my mind...

Let's start from the beginning, we met, we had fun!! Got to know more about each other. You listened to people who hated on me to you and called themselves "sister", "brother" or "friend" to me. You may not have believed, but you damn sure listened. But it didn't seem to change our friendship we were growing much. Then I began to see who you really were, a sweet, caring and loving man that only wanted the same returned to him. Fearful of trying the "un-average" --because of this fear, it shut your eyes, your ears and thoughts to something that could have been magical. But one thing that never closed, was YOUR HEART!! It still beats with fun and excitement when we are together, I know it does because my heart does as well. But because of our place in life right now, WE CAN'T! I don't understand, I never will and won't try!

I feel as if I have lived a life of constant ridicule in one area or another, and the one thing that I always wanted to remain constant was the people in life that I love. This whole blog is not developing the way I wanted it too because I realized the other day, after trying to pour my heart into this that one thing will remain true and its simple, YOU LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU LOVE ME... Something that I never did when it came to you, but I am going to start doing that. One-side of the game makes me understand that I can't change yesterday, but can strive to keep tomorrow in tact...

MORE TO COME!!