There is so much that I want to share!! Sometimes people that don't really know me may consider me to be somewhat emotionless. But here it is.. When you think about it, somewhere in your heart, you find a gap or a void. I have that void and also have in mind the person that I want in that gap. BUT I have to keep reminding myself that "GOD's WILL IS SUFFICIENT". I wanted this note to be an encouragement to those who think they know what they want and need in life. When I love, I love HARD!!!! I mean I give it my ALL!! But where are you left when your all is NOT ENOUGH??? You feel like you are back to square one with no view of CLOSURE in sight. SOOOO, in our human nature, we turn to false feelings (random sex) with people trying to compensate the hurt!!
BUT GUESS WHAT??? You still end up feeling the same way you did when you went in... NOTHING CHANGES!! But I have come to realize that I did this for YEARSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! Compensating what I had in my heart with sexual gratification. (HEY I AM OPEN AND WILLING TO BE TRANSPARENT TO HELP SOMEONE ELSE) But NOW, THE TABLES ARE TURNING ON ME!! I have to make a rational decision about LOVE!! And knowing that there are three types of LOVE, we tend to confuse them all.
EROS, that is that SEXUAL LOVE, that we use to make US FEEL GOOD!! PHILOS, that is that BROTHERLY LOVE, that I have for my peoples and my friends. BUT THAT AGAPE, which is that GODLY LOVE, that does not change when we are angry, sad, depressed or even just damn disgusted!!! THAT IS THE LOVE THAT YOU BUILD RELATIONSHIPS ON!!!!!!!!!
Despite if she is FINE, or he is DOUGIE, or whatever!!! Build your love on someone who has you interests at heart. Who don't mind going out of their way for you, speading time with you, caring for you, taking care of you, cooking for you, or even laying down someone else for you!! I just want the LOVE that I have always given, RETURNED TO ME!!! I only realized that once I started loving ME and taking care of ME, did this happen!!! AND GUESS WHAT YALL???? I am READY TO LOVE AGAIN!!
This time, its going to be different!!!
More than I can TRULY say...
Damn...this right here...hit home for me. I know that feeling exactly. Today was one of my reflection days and I purged so I know this feeling all to well. I love hard and at one point I thought it bad then I came to the realization that it's not bad at all. My Dad says, "Love doesn't discriminate but you should." I will love harder but be selective.
ReplyDeleteExactly!! Thanks for the love on this one!!
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